The Reality TV rant I’ve always wanted to do on “The Bachelor”/”Bachelorette”
First off, a tiny but important disclaimer- I only watch The Bachelorette because my wife watches it. If it was fully up to me, I’d simply be blissfully ignorant!
Anyways, now that I have a blog, I want to rant a little about reality tv. I think the Bachelorette is one big set up for failure. I think it is entertainment at the cost of major emotional distress for those involved in the show. I think the show is about ratings, dollars, and stardom, rather than ABC trying to help some poor bachelorette find her perfect match.
I was disappointed last night in Julian. The week before, she had the opportunity to spend the night in the fantasy sweet each night with a different guy, and each night she refused, saying she wasn’t ready and that it would confuse her feelings. I was thinking, wow, it’s about time someone figured out that having “relations” with four different guys, four different nights in a row is not the ideal way to choose a spouse. Then, last night, she apparently changed her mind.
It’s just interesting that when we’re entertained, we usually don’t think about the implications of what were entertained by. In watching the Bachelorette, we are watching a woman choose to sleep with three different men, three nights in a row. In real life, that would be considered dirty, but on tv, it’s just all part of finding a perfect match.
Here’s the point I’m trying to make. And by the way, I’m really trying to be considerate of my audience. I really hope I’m not overstepping my bounds in talking about sexuality on tv. But anyways, the point: I think we’re silly to think that the bachelorette system will actually work. (Most couples on the show don’t get married!) Here’s a few reasons why.
1. The whole show is a fantasy! Real life dates don’t involve staying in spain, or flying over Hawaii in a helicopter. Real life is finding time after work and other responsibilities to do something together. The show doesn’t give the bachelorette a chance to see what a guy is like when he comes home stressed from work, or how he might handle a problem that she might be going through. Life is not a three month vacation with all expenses paid to the most beautiful places in the world. It’s good to go through a few tough situations and a relational conflict or two before you decide to marry someone.
2. The show creates unnecesary baggage. Can you imagine being proposed to literally like a day after you broke up with a boyfriend (or girlfriend) that you had been extremely intimate with both physically and emotionally? I mean, this is what Julian will do in a few weeks. After going through three serious relationships at the same time, she narrows it down to one. In real life, usually there’s some recovery time after a serious relationship is broken up. Julian might be happy with her choice, but she carries into her engagement major emotional baggage, maybe even some hurt, from two other serious relationships. That stuff usually has to be dealt with before you move forward on a commitment like engagement.
The solution:
A few things might make the show have a better success rate. First off, no overnight dates!!!! Second off, do some dates in the midst of work and real life. Last, no making out, just hand holding and friendly kisses. This would yield a more aunthentic result, and save the stars of the show from emotional baggage, but would this type of show really entertain us? Prolly not.
